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"When an Italian tells me it’s pasta on the plate I check under the sauce to make sure. They are the inventors of the smokescreen."
"I can’t believe it. I can’t believe it. Football. Bloody hell."
On press concerns over Wayne Rooney’s temper in 2004: "What were you like when you were 19? I was trying to start a workers’ revolution in Glasgow. My mother thought I was a Communist."
"Pippo Inzaghi – that lad was born offside."
"It’s getting tickly now – squeaky-bum time, I call it."